Aladdin: Genie, I’ve got my first wish.

Genie: Alright, let’s hear it.

Aladdin: I want Princess Jasmine to lust for me non-stop.

Genie: Uh-uh, I can’t make anyone fall in love with -

Aladdin: No. Lust. Like, she wants to bang me all the time, day and night. No love required.

Genie: Oh…come on. That’s pretty much the same thing.

Aladdin: I live on the streets and my best friend is the monkey from Outbreak, you think I’m ready for a steady girlfriend?

Genie: Think you’re pretty clever, getting around my rule, huh? Well let’s see you break the other two: I won’t bring anyone back from the dead or grant you more wishes.

Aladdin: Okay, I accept I can’t bring people back from the dead. Instead, I wish for you to go back in time and grant everyone I ever cared about complete immortality, so that they never died in the first place.

Genie: Goddammit… FINE. Done. You’re down to your last wish now, Aladdin. Better make it a good one. Remember: you can’t wish for more wishes.

Aladdin: I wish for more genies.

Genie: Oh f*ck you, Al. Last time I waste my Jack Nicholson impersonation on a street rat.

Aladdin: We live in pre-Industrial Revolution Arabia. I have no idea who that is.